noknojon
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Posts posted by noknojon
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OK ; Last lot as I prepare to shower for Hospital..
* If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.
* Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
* What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?
* If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
* Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
* Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
* Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
* Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
* The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".
* Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
* 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
* Your future self is watching you right now through memories. (Was I that bad??)
* The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead. (I was only 2, and now I'm older than most except exile360 "The Wise One")..
* If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
* Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
* If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.
* If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day". .... (It does fall on a Tuesday)
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Whats black and Yellow and flies around with its legs crossed..
A bee looking for a BP service station-------------------------------------------
An old man gets asked by a pushy reporter "Have you lived here all of your life"?
The old chap (sharp as ever) replies "I can't answer that yet"!
Think about it !!
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When is Quote> @#$% <Un Quote Acceptable?
There are only 11 times in history where the "***" word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are counted down as follows:11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 191210. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor Of Hiroshima , 19459. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- George Custer, 18778. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
-- Albert Einstein, 19387. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 19266. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
-- Pythagoras, 126 BC5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
-- Michelangelo, 15664. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 19373. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC2. "Aw c’mon Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 19981. "There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President"
-- Hilary Clinton 2016 -
On 8/1/2018 at 3:55 AM, h4niz said:
Thanks for your explanation, I understood a little bit. Can you give me some keywords to search more?
Read from Davids words > > "If a virus prepends, appends or cavity injects malicious code into a legitimate file it is a relatively consistent set of instructions".
These can be identified in a vague way, without being over specific by using online dictionaries where you will get definitions, but your question is still a bit vague, and that is why YOU should be doing a bit more research.
I got a slap on the wrist for asking outside of the school where I was learning Malware Fighting.. The secrets lay in coded instructions like the help that you are getting from David ..
EDIT : P.S. Sorry if I over-posted your views, that I found very helpful David ..
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A Quick Carrot Off !!!
Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective? A: He got to the root of every case.
Q: How can you make a soup rich? A: Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy? A: Because if it was green and round it would want to pea!
Q: How do you kill a salad? A: You go for the carrot-id artery.
>> To all the people who eat baby carrots, I feel you don't carrot all.
Q: What did the carrot say to the vibrator? A: "Why are you shaking? It's me she's going to eat!"
Q: When does a carrot wear a mask? A: To the mascarrot ball. (Masquerade)
Q: Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A: A carrot.
Q: What's a Vegetable's favourite martial art? A: Carrotee!
Q: How do you lead a horse to water? A: With carrots
Q: What vegetable are all others afraid of? A: a scarrot.
Q: Why did the carrot get an award? A: Because he was out standing in his field
Q: Which vegetable betrayed Jesus? A: Judas Is-carrot
Q: What did one snowman say to the other? A: Does it smell like carrots?
Q: How do you make gold soup? A: Put 24 carrots in it.
Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit? A: Do you want to grab a bite? ?
Q: Whats orange and smells of carrots? A: Rabbit puke!
Q: What kind of vegetable watches over the elderly? A: The Carrot-aker.
Q: What do you call a vegetable with a sense of humor? A: Carrot Top.
Q: Why did the Ukrainian turn his carrot around? A: He wanted to start the orange revolution!
Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing you.
Q: What's a vegetable's favourite casino game? A: Baccarrot!
Q: What does the Carrot priest say at church? A: "Lettuce Pray"
Q: What is invisible and smells like Carrots? A: Bunny Farts!
Q: What's orange and never shuts up? A: A carrot reading the bible!
Who's there? Carrot, Carrot who? Do you carrot all about me! I tried to put peas and carrots into a soup to get my children to eat their veggies. They took one sip and said "Do you think were stew peed!"
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One day two carrots, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured carrot called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured carrot was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured carrot, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".
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A carrot, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives. The carrot said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me. The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!
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A stock-boy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any carrots? " The stock-boy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of carrots, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the carrots are. The stock-boy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of carrots, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stock-boy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the carrots, I need some carrots right now!"
The stock-boy, getting frustrated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answer a couple of questions and I will get you your carrots from the back." The lady agrees and the man starts the questions. "Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stock-boy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. " The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, F*c, as in carrots. " She replies "There is no F**k in carrots?" To which the stock-boy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
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Doctors Office A guy walks into the doctor's office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
# Now I most run out because Ron will hit me with a big Carrot Stick .. LATER ..
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? From the man who they said was "straight as a die". He actually has a sense of humor .... ?
Thank You exile360, you have permission to use your old Red X avatar for a day
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8 hours ago, jadinolf said:
I posted yours on My Digital Life Forums.
Many of their posts are VERY risque.
I may PM you with a few of the heavier (not too 'dirty') ones later..
Not on the forum, as Ron will ban me for a week or more. Going to hospital early August, so it gives me a chance to "review" a few more..
Regards John..
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To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department ? will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.
Where to, I don't know yet but I hope it is a happy place.. ?
Main reasons are, Older people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you. .. ?
Then it dawned on me ...
oh, shoot .... I'll see you on the bus... ??
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We need another list, not just one update Gonzo !!
I have a few more on the way for you ?
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On 7/26/2018 at 11:10 AM, jadinolf said:
Thanks for this.
Hope you don't mind but I borrowed them. ?
How do you think I get these ..
I have a Mate in Texas (I think) called Virgil, he feeds Facebook areas where we both are members..
These are only the "clean" ones.. Some can get a bit risque. ?
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A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!
"Help me, dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picksup his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you.
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly."No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
______________________________A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.
What's your secret?"
Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
___________________________A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3, the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."
___________________________Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- put me down for five."
___________________________A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?
___________________________The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?
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Thanks again to Virgil..
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it; you'll begin to think you're a genius..
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas ..
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .."
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Not "the only one born of a lady's womb, even us blondes know that " ? ROFL ☺️
Swiss electrical engineer George de Mestral invented his first touch fastener (to become Velcro) when, in 1941, he went for a walk in the woods and wondered why Burdock seeds cling to his coat and dog. He discovered it could be turned into something useful.
The name is a combination of the French words "velours" and "crochet," translated to English as "velvet" and "hooks."
.. Although de Mestral first met with resistance and even laughter, he stuck to his idea... De Mestral died in Commugy, Switzerland, on February 8, 1990. -
March 6, 2015 in General Chat
@ David; Please note the date of the OP's question. It may not be currently related .....
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Thank You John.L.Galt,
You have added a bit more information than was openly offered, and makes greater reading in this form (no personal offense AdvancedSetup). I find the more simple and often extended these items are presented to us, the better we all can understand the basic facts..
I will admit that because you seemed to 'open' the subject a bit more I will be spending a bit more time reading these articles. Even though as mentioned in articles, (paraphrased to..) "it may rarely affect a private user, but the business / commercial sector (no matter how big or small) will (could) be the main targets".
Here is the market for us, and Antivirus companies to head towards, when they say "We are well protected with our own basic Antivirus / Antimalware programs" , but they may not be covered for these types of intrusions. Yahoo (and a few others) found out the hard way, as we know.
("the following article") left me feeling a bit short on what I was looking for in the first instance. But once opened it actually has meaning and is a good topic. Or it could be that the reply answered a lot more of what a basic user / part time helper was looking for.
Again, Thanks All.
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Just saying,
These "infections" all seem to be from Development Sources, and I have been looking to find any 'In the Wild' instances.
Do you think these are not items that will be found in the wild, or has the team actually ever found one ? I am yet to find one, but with AMD / Intel / and ATI processors, I did research them and these companies all say these have not been found in the Wild, like all other 'Infections', merely Work Bench 'possibilities'.
This is like Jave and other updates where we say to uninstall older versions as they May be open to attack, but we do not usually show instances ?
Only an opinion and a question..
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Yes David,
It can be deleted, but I just wanted to show you first.
Thanks Mate.
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Barney Cook Supervisor andrzej-kwt@haapp.com
Hello, XXXXX(Me), Barney Cook Supervisor
To:( xxxxxxxmy email)
From: Barney Cook, Supervisor
Date: 12/19/2017
Subject: Please think about it. Can you send me your picture?
New email Unknown to me so I assume it is a scam, since nobody wants to see a 60 year old man in a picture ! ! -
Personal details have been removed, but At least our bank is giving warnings out over Christmas times ..
Logic for us, but others need to take care all year round
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So You Think You Know Everything?
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue, Google "Crocodiles: Facts & Pictures - Live Science"
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (actually disputed at this time, to "might be 30 Seconds, if not active)
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Not sure about the builders measurement of a Poofteenth, (said to be about 1/128th of an inch)
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial On the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know a few people like that)
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child Reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Not standing on that again)
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line Would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend An average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. (Did not think he was Jewish
)
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and Ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. (For a decent Typist)
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. (Again for a good Typist)
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of Diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and A chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses Every letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read Left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": Tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."There's no Betty Rubble in the "Flintstones Chewables Vitamins".
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only On one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; Otherwise it will digest itself.
There, now you know (Almost) everything ! (According to Virgil)..
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Hello All,
My Windows 7.1 Toshiba Laptop runs Mbytes Premium version, now 3.1.2 at last check, and I still keep Windows Defender / Ex MSE beside it.
I am staggering their scans so that Defender only has one scan early AM, but Mbytes has 2 scans (about noon and evening).Yes, I am aware that you now say this is not "required", however it was Defender that caught the last 2 Major infections (one a Trojan plus the Flexit CCleaner infection) while Mbytes only caught any smaller events and I went through the processes of cleaning it fully. I do not have those in quarantine any more, as I believed it was better to remove them during full cleaning.
The simple question is the title of this post "Is it OK to run Mbytes and still keep Win Defender", and now all other active or inactive scanners are removed and what are your current views on this.
Thank You
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Just a few of my silly definitions that I gathered...
1. ARBITRATOR - A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
2. BERNADETTE - The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE - What a crook sees through
4. AVOIDABLE - What a bullfighter tries to do
5. EYEDROPPER - Clumsy ophthalmologist
6. CONTROL - A short, ugly inmate.
7. COUNTERFEITER - Worker who puts together kitchen cabinets
8. ECLIPSE - What an English barber does for a living.
9. LEFT BANK - What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
10. HEROES - What a man in a boat does
11. PARASITES - Who/What you see from the Eiffel Tower
12. PARADOX - Two physicians
13. PHARMACIST - A helper on a farm
14. POLARIZE - What penguins see through
15. PRIMATE - Remove your spouse from in front of TV
16. RELIEF - What trees do in the spring
17. RUBBERNECK - What you do to relax your wife
18. SELFISH - What the owner of a seafood store does
19. SUDAFED - Brought litigation against a government official
20. PARADIGMS - 20 cents .... (think about it for a minute).
)
So You Think You Know Everything ? Let's Go
in Tailwaggers and Jokes
Posted
Note that all of my joke comments are posted simply as a Joke Forum item only...
Any minute details are not to be examined for minor corrections and picked to pieces !!!