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noknojon

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Everything posted by noknojon

  1. I'm still alive (according to my cardiologist), so time to be a repeat offender. On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And God saw it was good. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God, again saw it was good. On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed it was good. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human protested and said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch, with only a few of the last years left to be a grumpy old pain... My e-scooter arrives in 2 days, so I am cutting things closer to the edge 🛴
  2. To end at this time, I followed the link above which is genuine, but they had no record of me owing a fee? Thanks All.
  3. Rather than EDIT, your result also returns Linkt (Transportation) This is where I need to pay my fines / fees. https://www.linkt.com.au/about-us Just looks it may be used by other sites also, or bitly redirects it.
  4. .Thanks again, In the interests of safety, I may just contact them (Tolls) from here to be sure. 🙂 The initials "JL" directed it to me specifically so when I got all of the reaction, I took the best way and checked. Bitly makes it hard at times to get direct results. Tip: Put a + at the end of the bitly url and you often get a quick url result.
  5. Porthos Thanks, I do understand that Bitly is used by crooks to install bad things, but is there just a chance of bad advertising or "Geographic Region: North America" means it is a fake, or just redirects back to bitly? The times / dates relate to when I drove home, and I will incur a large penalty if there is a fee owing and it is not paid on time.
  6. MBAM blocks the following, that I believe is our Melbourne Aust Freeway Tolls. I attempted to pay a known overdue fee as I just purchased a BMW and drove it home. (Officially a snob now).🙂 https://bit.ly/3Q1JLme Thank You.
  7. @Badran Can you check Settings > Update and Security and look at Windows Updates then click on Delivery Optimization directly below (on left side menu).
  8. And now for something a bit lighter 🙂 Thirty-five "reported" Quotes of Steven Wright: 😎 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel 'Peace' Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. 34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
  9. Not sure of a title, but it may just be "The Taxi Driver Who Cared Enough," and yes, I shed a tear for my old mother. This is not just jokes, but also "Tailwaggers". Move to General Chat if it is too heavy. I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm, and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.' 'Oh, you're such a good boy,’ she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?' 'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly... 'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.’ I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice.. ‘The doctor says I don't have very long.' .... I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 'What route would you like me to take?' I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'. We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse. 'Nothing,' I said. 'You have to make a living,' she answered. 'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.' I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL. At the bottom of this great story was a request to forward this - I deleted that request because if you have read to this point, you won't have to be asked to pass it along you just will... I am going to visit my 96year old mother next month, not because of this tale but I had already planned to drive the 400kms in my old bomb of a car, unless I can borrow a decent one. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance. 💝 😢
  10. Nobody hit me for my last joke, so I'm willing to post an oldie but a goodie ! An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wan'na hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, do you still wan'na tell that blonde joke?' The blind Marine thinks for a few seconds, shakes his head and mutters, < < < < 'No... not if I'm gon'na have to explain it five times.'
  11. We all have a reason to cry. (Just so you know I am still alive)... When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He told me, 'I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.' I continued, 'Well, then why are you crying?' He added, 'She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.' I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' He said, 'For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.' I inquired again, "Well then, why in the world would you be crying?" < < < < He replied, 'I can't remember where I live.' 🙄
  12. The New Talking Brass Clock, Paddy takes some mates from the pub to break in his new home with him. After they consume more beers than they should Mick turns to Paddy and asks, "Hoi Paddy, what's that big brass gong on your wall for?" Paddy replies "Dat's me Big Brass Talking Clock." All the boys start laughing and start saying things like "There's no numbers on it so how can it work?" or "There's no dials, so how do you tell the time?" Paddy just laughed at them and replied, "Well it looks like I need to show you the secret." With that he picked up an empty bottle and threw it very hard at the gong ! < < < A voice from 'next door' howls out .. "For crying out loud don't you know it's Twenty to Three in the morning!!" And that is the secret of the Talking Brass Gong Clock ......
  13. After 10 years your mind wanders ........... An Irishman on a deserted island for over 10 years, sees a speck on the horizon drifting his way. What emerged from the surf was wet-suited black clad figure. After taking some of the scuba off, there stood a gorgeous blond! The blond strides up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. She unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Christ," says the man, " I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of whiskey" asked the blonde. Gob smacked, the castaway replied, "Ten years." The blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket and hands him a flask. He has a long drink. "Magic, truly fantastic!!!" says the Irishman. At this point the gorgeous blond started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. Smiling she looks at the trembling man and asks: "Now, how long has it been since you played around???" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed; < < < "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!!!"
  14. Thank you, David, That makes it a bit clearer for me, and I can pass these problems on to clients and friends of mine who are never sure. I still have a few clients who have followed me since XP days, and I hope they stay for a few more years. J.
  15. OK David The video (I believe one of the above) where you show that the end script is 'padding' for a longer script with many 00000000 lines after the main code. You are led to believe it is a larger File that when you click Properties it shows the thumb attached. This is why I say I Deep Scan at times with ESET.
  16. Hello David and any other Experts in this subject. Are you able (at this time) to tell me if MBAM scans deep enough to find these hidden "end of code" add-ons. I do a deep scan with ESET Online every month just to cover these types of programs, but that takes up to 1hour depending on current circumstanstances. MBAM still scans in 5 minutes at the most. Is this enough. Thank You
  17. Dear Mom and Dad, I am very well; I hope you are too. Tell big brothers Sean, Paddy and Mick that the Army is better than working on the farm, tell them to get into the Army quick before the jobs are all gone: I was a bit slow settling down at first because you don't get out of bed until 6 in the morning 🌞, but I got used to it and I like sleeping in now. All you do before breakfast is make your bed, shine your boots and clean your uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack, nothing. Men must shave, but it’s not too bad because there's hot water and a light to see what you’re doing. For breakfast there’s cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no fillet steaks or sausages. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are wrecked because we've been on a 'route march', which is just like walking to the well over the fields. This will kill Sean and Paddy with laughter, but I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why because the bull’s-eye is as big as a bloody bull's head, and it doesn't move and it’s not firing back at you like the Murphy’s did when our bull got their cow in calf before the Ballina show. All you have to do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - 'tis no problem. You don't even load your own cartridges, they come in bo xes, and you don't have to steady yourself against the wall when you reload. Sometimes we wrestle with the city boys and I have to be very careful because they break easy, it's not like fighting with Sean, Paddy, Mick and all the other local lads all at once like we do. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either, it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got. I've only been beaten once by this guy from Dublin - he's 6 foot 8 and 15 stone, so he’s a good bit bigger than me but I fought to the end. I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets out how good it is. > > > Your loving daughter, Siobhàn...
  18. What a language for followers of our verbal usage, and the many meanings that we can apply within. An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars. • A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. • A bar was walked into by the passive voice. • An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. • Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.” • A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. • Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything. • A question mark walks into a bar ? • A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. • Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type." • A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud. • A comma splice walks into a bar; it has a drink and then leaves. • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart. • A synonym strolls into a tavern. • At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. • A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment. • Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor. • A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered. • An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel. • The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known. • A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph. • The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. • A dyslexic walks into a bra. • A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. • A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. • A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
  19. This is a little story to start your Christmas season in the right spirit. When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Christmas pressure. Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. He went to harness the reindeer, and he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. When he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went into the house for a glass of cider and a shot of rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Not a lot of people know this.
  20. Thank you, David, Looks like you may (or may not) get more ..
  21. Why is this content not included in https://forums.malwarebytes.com/leaderboard/ Every other topic seems to be covered, but as I like to keep up the lagging Tailwaggers and Jokes content, I am not included as a "Contributor". I can't keep this up for many more years (some at the top may be happy), and as (almost) a founding member here, I deserve to be appreciated. Exile360 taught me a lot, AdvancedSetup fixed (or deleted) several posts, and with MT16 / Yardbird / Waving man 😄 / and others, we got things going. AdvancedSetup can now delete this, or agree with me, or we can put it up to a vote. - All in favor reply - Y - against reply - N Thanks for reading.
  22. My 2 basic observations, it seems that - 1/ Why is it a Chinese download, (explained as "most likely testing"?) - are they not sure of their own tools, or trying to take out a market? (see 2/) 2/ (Devil's Advocate) As it is a collection of already "existing (presume installed) MS tools" in later versions, is this just to stop you downloading CCleaner or Iobit's Advanced System Care (China's once favorite)? - Therefore, removing control from a 'free market' to only using programs that 'WE' want you to use. I thought Iobit was garbage years ago, and CCleaner's main use now is to distribute Speccy's diagnostic program. Windows Repair All in One from Tweaking.com was always the program (I am old as I call them programs, not apps), was / is the only (now available for Win 11) that I head to. www.bleepingcomputer.com/download/windows-repair-all-in-one/ Installing more of these type(s) of programs is against smooth and faster loading / running that from Windows 8.1 (not 8) to 10 to 11 (and beyond) were designed. I may never be the technical equal to Lawrence Abrams or nukecad, but just a logical old Gravel Pit worker, so I find my 2/ as the logical reason for this move (Market Domination). The world is being taken over by the Machines, and control begins (has begun) last month. (Remember, Soylent Green is People).. New Signature.
  23. VERY INTERESTING FACTS ! ! Dead Penguins - I never knew this! Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ? Where do they go? Are they eaten by sharks (NO), whales (NO), it is too cold to disintegrate, they do not melt, so there must be more to this. Wonder no more ! ! ! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks. Once the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The other senior male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: - Scroll down - V V V V V V V "Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow." You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you? I am sorry, an urge came over me that made me do it!!! 👿👿 Oh, quit whining I fell for it, too
  24. Not a happy week for Australian music fans to hear of the passing of 2 great International Super-STARS !! I started the week by downloading The Seekers to hear Judith Durum sing "The Carnival is Over" one more time.. But by the end of the week I downloaded "The Soundtrack from Grease" to hear Sandy (Olivia Newton-John) was "Totally Devoted to You" 😧😢 😭😭
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