Jump to content


Honorary Members
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by noknojon

  1. Since radio decided to pull “Baby it’s Cold Outside” from its playlist because someone was offended, I feel that these other holiday songs must also be removed as they are offensive as well. Do so immediately.🤣🤣🤣 1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: subjecting minors to softcore porn 2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation 3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances 4. White Christmas? Racist 5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker 6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression 7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying 8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben 9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail 10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman, or snowperson !! 11. Do You Hear What I Hear: blatant disregard for the hearing impaired 12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow 13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: animal abuse 14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day? 15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married…forced partnership. 16. Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer: Woman attacked & Grandpa gambling ..........
  2. Those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your front yards, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my drink out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat. All while trying to drive.It's just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding .........................................🎄 (Please keep this up and steal this post like I did...😉) I hope you got a good laugh 😂🤣🌲☃️⛄☄️❄️🎄Just need to laugh. No harm intended.
  3. Read Carefully........... 1. ARBITRATOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's 2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage. 3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through 4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do 5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist 6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate. 7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets 8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living. 9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money. 10. HEROES What a man in a boat does 11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower 12. PARADOX Two physicians 13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm 14. POLARIZE What penguins see through 15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV 16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring 17. RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife 18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does 19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official 20. Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung, psychiatrist (1875-1961)
  4. Thank You for this, but I was asked to shut down Chrome, and then "After I installed" the exe that then downloaded, I rebooted and opened F/book (my direct link from Chrome), then I took these 2 Snips from the first game that I opened .. The game (a small match 3 game, first sample I attempted) worked only if I followed the process that I described, of Click on the Adobe icon, then Click on the Allow Popup.. The game may not be required, but it provides a very good example of my "problem".. P.S. I do not have Mbytes Paid Version on this computer, as I installed it on my laptop only .. This unit runs manual scans, updated weekly, and has Defender set up as prime Anti Virus etc..
  5. These are the 2 popups that I always get.. I did a Reboot, and these are what I now get ... The same as earlier .. EDIT : I must first click on the Blue picture, then click on Allow ???
  6. Sorry David, but we all must eat.. I was making lunch.. Restart and check that there are no problems now ??
  7. Not Found The requested URL /get/flashplayer/current/licensing/win/install_flash_player_ppapi.exe was not found on this server. Sorry David... You got a bad link !! EDIT : I am on Firefox at the moment !!!
  8. OK David, but do I first need to uninstall anything first ?? EDIT : Typical.... The only time I want a shot, it will not show up..
  9. I just got the usual message from Adobe that there was an update available so I followed the instructions on installing it.. The main problem seems to be my Chrome Browser, that is a direct link to my F/Book account.. Now I often get requests on games to "Click on an Adobe Sign" then another item pops up saying "Allow" .. If you can wait 10 minutes I may get pictures for you !!
  10. Silly me, I updated Adobe FlashPlayer (to the latest version), but I use on my Windows 8.1 - Internet Explorer / Google Chrome / and Firefox browsers.. .. I know I should not have done this ...... But I need a fix PLEASE ... Will somebody please offer advice ............ Regards J...............
  11. I will now post a copy of above in Computer general problems ... Thank you Wise One
  12. Thanks David, but I need a bit of "general help" also ... I updated Adobe FlashPlayer (to the latest version), but I use on my Windows 8.1 - Internet Explorer / Google Chrome / and Firefox browsers.. Will I post in Computer general problems, or Hon Members areas for help with this.. I know I should not have done this ...... But I need a fix PLEASE ... Regards John
  13. Sorry but the Specialists who operated on me last month found me reasonably fit and healthy yesterday (provided I walk and exercise daily), so it looks like you may need to put up with me for the next few years.. ? I Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year; not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number ? Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? Canada (like the USA) is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. Well, we'll see about that. Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye. You're not fat, you're just ... easier to see. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then. On average, a Canadian man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese. Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch! And finally! The reason 60's Mayberry Town was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Think of this; Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single...... The only married person was Otis, and he was always drunk !!!
  14. Note that all of my joke comments are posted simply as a Joke Forum item only... Any minute details are not to be examined for minor corrections and picked to pieces !!!
  15. OK ; Last lot as I prepare to shower for Hospital.. * If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful. * Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned? * What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it? * If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? * Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C? * Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V? * Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work. * Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty. * The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims". * Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win. * 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. * Your future self is watching you right now through memories. (Was I that bad??) * The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead. (I was only 2, and now I'm older than most except exile360 "The Wise One").. * If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them. * Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it. * If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before. * If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day". .... (It does fall on a Tuesday)
  16. Whats black and Yellow and flies around with its legs crossed.. A bee looking for a BP service station ------------------------------------------- An old man gets asked by a pushy reporter "Have you lived here all of your life"? The old chap (sharp as ever) replies "I can't answer that yet"! Think about it !! ------------------------------------------ When is Quote> @#$% <Un Quote Acceptable? There are only 11 times in history where the "***" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are counted down as follows: 11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?" -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 10. "What the @#$% was that?" -- Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945 9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -- George Custer, 1877 8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -- Albert Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -- Picasso, 1926 6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" -- Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" -- Michelangelo, 1566 4. "Where the @#$% are we?" -- Amelia Earhart, 1937 3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" -- Noah, 4314 BC 2. "Aw c’mon Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?" -- Bill Clinton, 1998 1. "There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President" -- Hilary Clinton 2016
  17. Read from Davids words > > "If a virus prepends, appends or cavity injects malicious code into a legitimate file it is a relatively consistent set of instructions". These can be identified in a vague way, without being over specific by using online dictionaries where you will get definitions, but your question is still a bit vague, and that is why YOU should be doing a bit more research. I got a slap on the wrist for asking outside of the school where I was learning Malware Fighting.. The secrets lay in coded instructions like the help that you are getting from David .. EDIT : P.S. Sorry if I over-posted your views, that I found very helpful David ..
  18. A Quick Carrot Off !!! Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective? A: He got to the root of every case. Q: How can you make a soup rich? A: Add 14 carrots (carats) to it. Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy? A: Because if it was green and round it would want to pea! Q: How do you kill a salad? A: You go for the carrot-id artery. >> To all the people who eat baby carrots, I feel you don't carrot all. Q: What did the carrot say to the vibrator? A: "Why are you shaking? It's me she's going to eat!" Q: When does a carrot wear a mask? A: To the mascarrot ball. (Masquerade) Q: Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A: A carrot. Q: What's a Vegetable's favourite martial art? A: Carrotee! Q: How do you lead a horse to water? A: With carrots Q: What vegetable are all others afraid of? A: a scarrot. Q: Why did the carrot get an award? A: Because he was out standing in his field Q: Which vegetable betrayed Jesus? A: Judas Is-carrot Q: What did one snowman say to the other? A: Does it smell like carrots? Q: How do you make gold soup? A: Put 24 carrots in it. Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit? A: Do you want to grab a bite? ? Q: Whats orange and smells of carrots? A: Rabbit puke! Q: What kind of vegetable watches over the elderly? A: The Carrot-aker. Q: What do you call a vegetable with a sense of humor? A: Carrot Top. Q: Why did the Ukrainian turn his carrot around? A: He wanted to start the orange revolution! Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A: It's been nice gnawing you. Q: What's a vegetable's favourite casino game? A: Baccarrot! Q: What does the Carrot priest say at church? A: "Lettuce Pray" Q: What is invisible and smells like Carrots? A: Bunny Farts! Q: What's orange and never shuts up? A: A carrot reading the bible! Who's there? Carrot, Carrot who? Do you carrot all about me! I tried to put peas and carrots into a soup to get my children to eat their veggies. They took one sip and said "Do you think were stew peed!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day two carrots, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured carrot called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured carrot was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured carrot, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life". --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A carrot, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives. The carrot said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me. The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A stock-boy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any carrots? " The stock-boy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of carrots, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the carrots are. The stock-boy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of carrots, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stock-boy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the carrots, I need some carrots right now!" The stock-boy, getting frustrated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answer a couple of questions and I will get you your carrots from the back." The lady agrees and the man starts the questions. "Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stock-boy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. " The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, F*c, as in carrots. " She replies "There is no F**k in carrots?" To which the stock-boy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctors Office A guy walks into the doctor's office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly." # Now I most run out because Ron will hit me with a big Carrot Stick .. LATER ..
  19. ? From the man who they said was "straight as a die". He actually has a sense of humor .... ? Thank You exile360, you have permission to use your old Red X avatar for a day
  20. I may PM you with a few of the heavier (not too 'dirty') ones later.. Not on the forum, as Ron will ban me for a week or more. Going to hospital early August, so it gives me a chance to "review" a few more.. Regards John..
  21. To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department ? will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Where to, I don't know yet but I hope it is a happy place.. ? Main reasons are, Older people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. .. ? Then it dawned on me ... oh, shoot .... I'll see you on the bus... ??
  22. We need another list, not just one update Gonzo !! I have a few more on the way for you ?
  23. How do you think I get these .. I have a Mate in Texas (I think) called Virgil, he feeds Facebook areas where we both are members.. These are only the "clean" ones.. Some can get a bit risque. ?
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies - We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.