Snotty Receptionist

[Firefox]

Snotty

Receptionist

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a

Prostate exam. Of course, I was a bit on edge because all my

friends have either gone under the knife or had those

pellets implanted.

The waiting room was filled with patients. As I approached

the receptionist's desk, I noticed that the receptionist was

a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo

wrestler. I sighed and gave her my name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE

YOUR NAME

HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE,

RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads

around to look at me, now very embarrassed man.

But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud

voice replied , "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE

OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID

YOURS.."

The room erupted in applause!

DON'T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!

[mountaintree16]

[goldhound]

:)

[ShyWriter]

"DON'T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!"

Amen to that!

:)

[sho-dan]

Good one Firefox, sounds like something I would have said.

[lelenina]

Nice one.

[DarkSnakeKobra]

[Popeye]

Good One!

[gypsygrace]

[Drum]

:lol:

[Amethyst]

[ThexDarksider]

I lol'd.

[Bobc11]

Hahahahahah! Really good one Firefox!! :D

[lelenina]

My emoticons got messed up. I guess it happened when migrating to the newer version of IP.Board.

[dave.m]

True To Life

Trying To Get An Appointment To See A GP in the UK.

Most UK readers will have had experience of trying to see their GP under the newer Health Centre regimes.

You spend three or four hours and twenty attempts to get to speak to a receptionist, but all you ever get is the recorded message saying that all lines are busy but your call is important to us (it's bloody important to me too.)

When you finally get through to a human the conversation goes something like this:

Receptionist, “XYZ Surgery, how may I help you?”

Me, “Good day, I would like to make an appointment to see a doctor, anyone will do.”

R, “May I ask what your problem is?”

(So you think you know more than the Doctor! Well, OK, I'll tell you what my symptoms are BUT there is no way on this earth that I can take one of your pink Post-it notes to the Pharmacy and get it made up.)

M, “I have been having lots of stomach problems recently and it got worse last night.”

R, “Well, unfortunately there are no doctors appointments available for today or tomorrow. The first one is not until next week. I can, however find you an appointment with the Practice Nurse who can examine you and then write a prescription if that will do?”

M, “What happens if it is more serious and I need to see a doctor?”

R, “Well the Practice Nurse will be able to arrange a doctor's appointment for you for later today.”

(So she can find one of those hidden, secret appointments with a doctor but you cannot. Why isn't she answering the bloody telephone then instead of you?)

That is usually as far as you get, but I can let you into a secret that will get you a doctor's appointment the same day that you phone up.

There are several words in the Medical Dictionary that get the receptionist's computer mouse working in overdrive and it will search a hundred pages of appointments and find you the first available one in seconds. These are the words that I tend to use;

Cancer, Chemotherapy, Oncology or Oncologist.

You can find your own by quoting some medical terms and seeing if it happens. If they work, then remember them and make a note by your phone so that you do not forget them

Better than just dropping the odd word into the telephone conversation, use two and even better, three of the words in one sentence. That way her computer mouse switches on the afterburner and can scan a thousand pages in microseconds.

This actually happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

I dialed the surgery number at 9-20am and was expecting the usual recorded messages but after only three, (yes THREE) rings it was answered by a receptionist. I was flabbergasted and had not even got my speech together.

R, “Good morning, XYZ Surgery, how may I help you?”

M, “Err! Oh! Sorry! Good morning, can I make an appointment to see one of the Nurse Practitioners, please?”

R, “May I ask what the problem is?”

M, “Certainly. Two days ago I had my regular Chemotherapy Check-up with my Oncologist, for my stomach cancer.”

(See, I got all three 'buzz words' into one sentence.)

M, continuing, “I explained that I was having stomach pains after meals and feeling sick and could she prescribe some of those tablets that I had been taking for the problem when she was treating me with Chemotherapy. She explained that it would probably take about six hours to get them from the hospital pharmacy and so to see my GP and ask for some. As it is only for a prescription, the nurse will be able to supply it.”

R, “ Oh, I think it would be better if you saw a doctor, can you be here in thirty minutes to see Dr. A.?”

So when I only wanted to see a Nurse I get to see a Doctor.