Porthos Posted May 11, 2011 ID:427715 Share Posted May 11, 2011 http://www.danoah.com/2011/05/you-said-what-to-your-kid.htmlOn Single Dad Laughing's Facebook Page, I posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure. We don't stick things in people's butts, honey. Your arms are definitely long enough to wipe your own bottom. When we poo in the toilet it stays there! We don't fish it out to show daddy! You cannot have anymore of my broccoli until you finish your french fries! We do not chew gum found on the underside of tables! Why on earth would you pee on your brother? Emma, do NOT feed your boogers to your sister. We do not put peeps in the microwave, put toothpicks in them, watch them joust, and eat the one that doesn't blow up. We do not put mommy's lipstick in our bellybutton. We do NOT put our naked butts on the dining room table. No, zebras do not have boobs! Yes, that man does have a penis. All men do. But we don't talk about it in public. Yes...he does too.... now really, shhhhh.... Don't suck my toe! No more broccoli until you eat the rest of your dinner! Alex, stop peeing on your sister! Stop licking the shopping cart. No! Don't put the kitty in the potty! Don't kick Grandma! Try not to get poop all over your hands. If you got it off of the bottom of your shoe, it's not a num-num! Typing a swear on Facebook is the same as saying it! Honey, please don't lick the tv. You blow on the dandelion, you don't lick it! I will NOT help you pull your finger out of your butt. You put it in there, you get it out. Why did you wipe your poop all over the wall? Stop reading and listen to me! You begged and begged for the Xbox and you NEVER play it! How many times have we talked about not trusting a fart? Now go change your underwear. Did you eat my Chapstick? Yes, honey. It's exactly like Burt and Ernie how Uncle Jon and Uncle Brian live together. I teasingly asked my 7 year old son if I could live with him the rest of our lives so that we can always have cuddle time. He responded by saying "OF COURSE!!! We can even share a bed. If I get a wife I will tell her to scoot over so that my mommy can fit in". We do not put our poopy in the toybox. Stop picking on your Daddy. WHY are you licking peanut butter off the bottom of your foot? Fingers do NOT go in the dog's butt! When you start peeing through your nipples, you can take your shirt off to go potty! They are called hiccups, not hickies! Spit that rock out, right now. No light sabers at the table. Do NOT let the dog lick the inside of your mouth! Please don't sit on your brother's head without underwear on. Link to post
mountaintree16 Posted May 12, 2011 ID:428179 Share Posted May 12, 2011 :blink: :lol: :lol: Link to post
Mainard Posted May 12, 2011 ID:428322 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Laughed pretty hard in the office... Link to post
SpySentinel Posted May 12, 2011 ID:428376 Share Posted May 12, 2011 I am still laughing now Link to post
ShyWriter Posted May 12, 2011 ID:428381 Share Posted May 12, 2011 Remind you of any thing people.. Well; older people, I guess.. Art Linkletter's TV show KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS .. for the youth challenged..And those in the Porthos post are some of the cleaner ones. Link to post
ThexDarksider Posted May 13, 2011 ID:428598 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Honey, please don't lick the tv.Hahah... Well... I often lick my computer screen... Link to post
mountaintree16 Posted May 15, 2011 ID:429274 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Hahah... Well... I often lick my computer screen... :blink: Link to post
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