If Microsoft Made Cars

[noknojon]

If Microsoft Built Cars

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Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

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Occasionally your car would just die on the highway for no reason. Accept this, restart and drive on.

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Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause the car to stop and fail to restart. You'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

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You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car 95" or "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

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Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

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The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" light.

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People would get excited about "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for years.

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We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and auto fluids.

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New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

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The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.

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If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

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Microsoft wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The engine would be a side-valve design so you could still use Model T Ford parts on it.

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Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM and play Microsoft cassettes.

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Microsoft would do well, because even though they don't own any roads, all road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars for free!

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If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, you could borrow your friend's and copy it.

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Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition a few days until it worked.

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You would need an upgrade to run cars on a highway next to each other.

It may have been run earlier but never loses its reality ------------------

[mountaintree16]

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car 95" or "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

I don't quite get that one though

[DarkSnakeKobra]

Don't forget we would all be dead. Unless we add a firewall.

[IDKWatMNShouldBe]

Don't forget we would all be dead. Unless we add a firewall.

i think that one part of the fire wall would be the windows?

[IDKWatMNShouldBe]

im starting to think what part of the car would have the anti-virus.

anyways, i have to go to sleep soon.

[DarkSnakeKobra]

i think that one part of the fire wall would be the windows?

That or bugs.

[Guest remixed]

Don't forget the giant car parks, you can't start your car, you don't have permission

[noknojon]

im starting to think what part of the car would have the anti-virus.

It's called a Bumper bar , Air bags and naturally , Seat Belts -

[DarkSnakeKobra]

It's called a Bumper bar , Air bags and naturally , Seat Belts -

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

I think that is the most important part. That would force the U.S. to fix obesity.

[mountaintree16]

I think that is the most important part. That would force the U.S. to fix obesity.

If only.