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Christmas Riddles

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Christmas Riddles

Q. Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

A. Because it soots him!

Q. Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?

A. At a Ho-ho-tel!

Q. What does Ms. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?

A. "Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

Q. What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?

A. Pour Santa flush on him!

Q. What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve?

A. Okay everyone, sack time!

Q. What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?

A. Crisp Kringle!

Q. What do you call Santa when he has no money?

A. Saint "Nickel"-less!

Q. What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?

A. A rebel without a Claus!

Q. What did Santa say to Ms. Claus when he looked out the window?

A. Looks like rain, Dear!

Q. Where does Father Christmas go to vote?

A. The North Poll!

Q. What's red and white and falls down the chimney?

A. Santa Klutz!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?

A. North Polish!

Have a Punny Christmas

by Richard Lederer

If athletes get athlete's foot, astronauts get missile toe.

A bird dog could be called a point setter.

James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus in his

novel The Deer Sleigher.

What's the difference between a one-winged angel and a two-winged

angel? It's a matter of a pinion!

Christmas Signs

At a Toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."

At a Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."

Outside a church: " The original Christmas club."

At a department store" "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and

mangle with the crow."

At a reducing salon: "24 shaping days until Christmas."

At a ski resort: "All I need to know about life I learned from a

snow man."

In a stationery store: "For the one who has everything, a calender

to show when the payments are due."



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