gypsygrace Posted January 8, 2011 ID:371521 Share Posted January 8, 2011 How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE? NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...I'm sorry... what did you ask me? Link to post
ShyWriter Posted January 8, 2011 ID:371561 Share Posted January 8, 2011 How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE? NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...I'm sorry... what did you ask me?Are you PMS'ing about wanting to change me again?????Why are women ALWAYS trying to CHANGE someone.. I'm the same light bulb you bought 17 years ago.. You'd be burned out too if someone was always pushing your buttons. B) B) B) ~Steve.. B) B) Link to post
gypsygrace Posted January 8, 2011 Author ID:371571 Share Posted January 8, 2011 Are you PMS'ing about wanting to change me again?????Why are women ALWAYS trying to CHANGE someone.. I'm the same light bulb you bought 17 years ago.. You'd be burned out too if someone was always pushing your buttons. B) B) ~Steve..You missed the point sparky. No one does anything around here. Let alone changing you. If you didn't have to be turned on all the time, you wouldn't have to be changed. I could go on but not PMS'ing, so it takes the fizzle out of the sizzle. B) Link to post
mona7865 Posted January 9, 2011 ID:371764 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Now why does this ring a bell (sorry : put the light on)? :D Link to post
ShyWriter Posted January 9, 2011 ID:371872 Share Posted January 9, 2011 You missed the point sparky. No one does anything around here. Let alone changing you. If you didn't have to be turned on all the time, you wouldn't have to be changed. I could go on but not PMS'ing, so it takes the fizzle out of the sizzle. You been listening to Snoop Dog music too long; "it takes the fizzle out of the sizzle. " I'm a Renaissance man, Ms switch changer; up and down; on and off; geeze...I don't HAVE TO BE turned on ALL the time. B) I need my rest to KEEP FROM BURNING OUT. B) B) Line 'em up Gracie; I'll knock 'em outta the park.. *wry grin*G'morning sunshine,how doth thy garden grow??~Steve.. Link to post
ShyWriter Posted January 9, 2011 ID:371874 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Now why does this ring a bell (sorry : put the light on)? :D Mona! Where have you been hiding? Don't tell me you and Mom have burned out lights all over as well... *wink*Mumble.. mumble.. Now where'd I put that ladder and the spare bulbs??~Steve Link to post
goldhound Posted January 10, 2011 ID:372287 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hmmm, tall guy talking about ladders and changing bulbs? There are options.........Dogs changing light bulbs. * GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? * BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. * DACHSHUND: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! * ROTTWEILER: Make me. * LAB: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? * TIBETAN TERRIER: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy! * JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. * POODLE: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. * COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. * DOBERMAN: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. * BOXER: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...... * CHIHUAHUA: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. * IRISH WOLFHOUND: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.... * POINTER: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.... * GREYHOUND: It isn't moving. Who cares? * AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOG: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.. * OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? * HOUND DOG: ZZZZZZzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z...z*GOLDHOUNDThat is what wimmen are for!CATS:Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF... Link to post
ShyWriter Posted January 10, 2011 ID:372290 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hmmm, tall guy talking about ladders and changing bulbs? There are options.........Dogs changing light bulbs.[...]GOLDHOUNDThat is what wimmen are for!CATS:Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF...ROFLMAO!!! That was a good one Wayne.. B) B) ~Steve Link to post
gypsygrace Posted January 10, 2011 Author ID:372317 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Loved it Goldhound! :D Link to post
YoKenny1 Posted January 10, 2011 ID:372372 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I think I'll just sit on the couch and watch TV as no matter what I do I'll damage something. Link to post
gypsygrace Posted January 10, 2011 Author ID:372375 Share Posted January 10, 2011 :D Very dangerous, indeed!! Link to post
gypsygrace Posted January 10, 2011 Author ID:372405 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Now why does this ring a bell (sorry : put the light on)? :D hmmm...wondering Link to post
goldhound Posted January 10, 2011 ID:372419 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I think I'll just sit on the couch and watch TV as no matter what I do I'll damage something. :D B) Link to post
gypsygrace Posted January 10, 2011 Author ID:372421 Share Posted January 10, 2011 You been listening to Snoop Dog music too long; "it takes the fizzle out of the sizzle. " I'm a Renaissance man, Ms switch changer; up and down; on and off; geeze...I don't HAVE TO BE turned on ALL the time. B) I need my rest to KEEP FROM BURNING OUT. :D Line 'em up Gracie; I'll knock 'em outta the park.. *wry grin*G'morning sunshine,how doth thy garden grow??~Steve..No hip-hop here, Mr. Renaissance Man.I'm a Classic Woman to you, renaissance spark.I'll keep you turned off, no problem. That way you won't need to be changed. I can handle that!Never you mind about the garden. B) Link to post
ShyWriter Posted January 11, 2011 ID:372513 Share Posted January 11, 2011 [...]Never you mind about the garden. Why; are you in one of those LEGAL medical marijuana states?? ~Steve Link to post
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