I wanna be a Lawyer

[hitbit]

>> Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers

Journal,the

>> >> following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during

>> >> trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful

witnesses:

>> >> 1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,

>> >> he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

>> >> 2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

>> >> 3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

>> >> 4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

>> >> 5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

>> >> 6. "Did he kill you?"

>> >> 7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

>> >> 8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

>> >>

>> >> 9.. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

>> >> 10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"

>> >> A: "Yes."

>> >> Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

>> >>

>> >> 11. Q: "She had three children, right?"

>> >> A: "Yes."

>> >> Q: "How many were boys?"

>> >> A: "None."

>> >> Q: "Were there any girls?"

>> >>

>> >> 12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"

>> >> A: "Yes."

>> >> Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

>> >>

>> >> 13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't

>> >> you?"

>> >> A: "I went to Europe, Sir."

>> >> Q: "And you took your new wife?"

>> >> 14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"

>> >> A: "By death."

>> >> Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"

>> >>

>> >> 15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"

>> >> A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."

>> >> Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

>> >>

>> >> 16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning to a deposition

>> >> notice which I sent to your attorney?"

>> >> A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

>> >> 17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"

>> >> A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

>> >> 18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"

>> >> A: "Oral."

>> >> 19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"

>> >> A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."

>> >> Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"

>> >> A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was

>> >> doing an autopsy."

>> >> 20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"

>> >> A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

>> >> 21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"

>> >> A: "I have been since early childhood."

>> >> 22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

>> >> pulse?"

>> >> A: "No."

>> >> Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A: "No."

>> >> Q: "Did you check for breathing?"

>> >> A: "No."

>> >> Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

>> >> began the autopsy?"

>> >> A: "No."

>> >> Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

>> >> A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

>> >> Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

>> >> A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing

>> >> law somewhere."

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