Raised In Texas

[Porthos]

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM LIVING OR BEING RAISED IN TEXAS:

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road

With their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000

Live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

'Twiced' is a word.

People actually grow and eat okra

'Fixinto' is one word.

There is no such thing as 'lunch.'

There is only dinner and then supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you

Start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

'Backwards and forwards' means I know

Everything about you!

Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it

Doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in hours. Like its 3 hours from Houston to Austin .

You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to

'A/C' in the same day.

'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to

The store.'

You install security lights on your house and

Garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car . . .

For your OWN car.

There are only four spices: salt, pepper,

Jalapenos and salsa.

The local papers cover national and

International news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer,

Still Summer and Christmas.

A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good

Pinto-bean weather. Below 50 degrees it's chili time.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or

Pop. .. . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example:

'What kind a coke you want, a Dr. Pepper?'

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no stinking driver's Ed . .. .

If our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

If you understand these jokes please forward

Them to your friends from Texas (and those who just wish they were).

EVERYONE can't be from Texas .

You might say it's a gift from God!

And the most important thing we learn growing up in TEXAS is...

"IN GOD WE TRUST"

(all others pay cash)

[mountaintree16]

Thanks for sharing

[unoriginal]

I found myself smiling and nodding at about 90% of those.

[L00N3R]

Fun to learn something about American culture