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Some Chemistry Jokes


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Two atoms are walking down the street.

Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure??"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied

:"It's just a phase you're going through".

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
What do you do with dead chemists? Barium.
What did one titration tell the other? Let's meet at the endpoint.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.

And now for the one I actually thought of but it was probably thought of before.

If a cat has nine lives, then a radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

:)

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