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jokes 30


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The Bishop of St. Asaph and his wife were on holiday in Spain and were just signing in to their hotel in Seville.

Now, although bishops of the Church in Wales have a title their wives are plain 'Mrs.' so the good prelate wrote

in the register "The Bishop of St. Asaph and Mrs. Williams."

The hotel manager looked at the register in amazement and taking the Bishop to one side

said "In Spain, Bishop, we are not as is commonly said, narrow-minded, and it is no concern of mine what your

relationship is with this woman, but do you not think you could conduct this affair a little more discreetly?

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An English visitor to a small Welsh village was approached by one of the deacons of the local chapel

who asked him whether he would like to attend their chapel on the following Sunday.

"Wouldn't that be a little pointless?" replied the Englishman.

"After all, your services are held in Welsh and I don't understand the language."

"Ah yes," said the deacon, "but the collection is in English."

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After Dave Jones got elected to the Council, he insisted on everyone calling him Councillor Jones.

Coming back late from the pub after celebrating his election he made a great noise trying to get into his house.

"Is that you Dave?" shouted his wife down the stairs.

"Certainly not", he replied drunkenly, "it's Councillor Jones."

"Well, come on up quick then, we've only got a few minutes before Dave comes back from the pub."

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The madame of a brothel has a problem, so she goes to a local priest.

"I have two talking female parrots," she tells him. "All they can say is 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's awful," the priest agrees, "but I have a solution to your problem. I have two male parrots whom I've taught to pray and read the Bible.

If we put your parrots with mine, I believe yours will stop saying that awful phrase and will instead learn to recite the word of God."

The next day, the madame brings her parrots to the priest's house and puts them in with the male parrots,

who are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

"Hi, we're prostitutes," say the females. "Do you want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks at the other and squawks, "Close that Bible, Frank! Our prayers are answered!"

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A little old lady in Tenby (UK) earned her living by selling tea and cakes to trippers from England.

Being the daughter of a mean old South Gower farmer, she tried to boost her profits by using the same tea bags over and over again.

At first no one noticed and she made a lot of money.

The word got around that her tea wasn't what it used to be, the trippers stopped coming and she went out of business.

Moral: Honest tea is the best policy.

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Joe was trying to lead a horse in the street, but was having much trouble getting the horse's cooperation.

A passerby stopped and asked if he could help.

Joe was grateful and gladly accepted.

After much pushing and shoving, they finally got the horse to the front door of Joe's department.

Joe indicated that the horse was to go through the door.

More pushing and shoving.

Once inside, Joe and the passerby managed to work the horse up the steps and into Joe's apartment on the third floor, then through the living room and into the bathtub.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, the good Samaritan said, “I don't want to be nosy, but this is most unusual…”

Joe said, “When my wife comes home, she'll look in the bathroom and say, 'There's a horse in there!' “

“Hey, how many times in a man's life will they ever get the chance to tell their wife, 'I know! I know!'?”

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