ASK ME FOR A DAY OFF

[dipper6]

BEFORE YOU ASK ME FOR A DAY OFF, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING STATISTICS :

There are 365 days in the year.

You sleep eight hours a day making 122 days, which subtracted from 365 days leaves 243 days.

You also have 8 hours recreation every day making another 122 days leaving a balance of 121 days.

There are 52 Sundays that you do not work at all, which leaves 69 days.

You get Saturday afternoon off. This gives 52 half days, or 26 more days that you do not work,

this leaves a balance of 43 days.

You get an hour off for lunch, which when totalled makes 16 days, leaving 27 days of the year.

You get at least 21 days leave every year leaving 6 days.

You get 5 legal holidays during the year that leaves only one day.

AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE DAY OFF.

[dipper6]

Rules of Employment.

HOLIDAYS. Employee’s holidays are considered by the directors to be completely unnecessary. All employees should realise that they are lucky to be employed. Should anyone demand a holiday entitlement, this will be considered by the directors as being disloyal, the firm will assume that the employee must be unhappy in his/her work and will cease to be considered an asset to the firm. Dismissal will therefore have to be seriously considered by the directors.

SICKNESS. The directors will consider it a sign of weakness should an employee fall ill. It is the duty of every employee to look after his/her health and therefore be available for duty on every working day. A visit to the doctor by an employee is considered totally unnecessary. If they are well enough to visit the doctor, they are well enough to come to work.

DEATH – OTHER THAN OF THE EMPLOYEE. If a relative or friend has died, unfortunate as this may be, there is obviously nothing more that can be done for them. Therefore, the directors will not accept such a death as a legitimate excuse for not coming into work. Funerals, if employees must attend them, will have to be arranged outside of working hours.

DEATH – OF THE EMPLOYEE. If an employee’s death should occur prior to the mandatory retirement age, the employee should have arranged a replacement for himself or herself before inflicting this inconvenience on the firm.