jokes 26

[dipper6]

The English teacher asks the blonde cheerleader to use the word "handsome" in a sentence.

The blonde thinks a minute and says "When my mouth and jaw get tired, I use my handsome."

[dipper6]

The most common surname in China is Chang, correct me if you think that's Wong.

[dipper6]

An Irishman walks into a railway station and presents himself at the ticket counter.

'I'd like a return ticket.'

'Where to ?'

'To here !' says the Irishman.

[dipper6]

During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used:

"As you all know, there are 180 degrees in a circle."

One of the soldiers put up his hand and said: "But there are 360 degrees in a circle, sergeant-major."

"You idiot," replied the sergeant-major, "I am obviously speaking about a small circle!"

[dipper6]

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night.

One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.

"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."

"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman.

"But think of how surprised I am! I'm her mother!"

[dipper6]

An Episcopal Bishop lands at La Guardia and asks the cab driver (an Irishman) to take him to "Christ's Church."

The cabby takes him to Saint Pat's.

The Bishop says, "I Said to you very clearly, take me to Christ's Church. This isn't the place!"

The cabby replies, "Yer Excellency, If he ain't here, he ain't in town!

[dipper6]

Q: What is black and blue and found floating up side down in the Irish sea?

A: Someone who's tells a stupid Irish joke.

[dipper6]

Women are basically greedy. They want all things from one man.

While men are so simple that they want only one thing from all women.

[srtools1980y]

"You idiot," replied the sergeant-major, "I am obviously speaking about a small circle!"

[mountaintree16]

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night.