Thoughts from the shower.

[noknojon]

OK ; Last lot as I prepare to shower for Hospital..

 

* If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.

* Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

* What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

* If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

* Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

* Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?

* Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

* Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

* The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".

* Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

* 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

* Your future self is watching you right now through memories. (Was I that bad??)

* The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead. (I was only 2, and now I'm older than most except exile360 "The Wise One")..

* If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.

* Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

* If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

* If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day". .... (It does fall on a Tuesday)

Edited August 5, 2018 by noknojon
Minor wording Edit

[kliebor]

Just pondering the self help craze of a few years ago, and the strange thing is it spawned thousands of other people writing books to help others.

 

I think that may be a good case of Irony for you.

[exile360]

On 8/19/2018 at 4:48 AM, kliebor said:

Just pondering the self help craze of a few years ago, and the strange thing is it spawned thousands of other people writing books to help others.

 

I think that may be a good case of Irony for you.

Even more so when you consider the fact that many of them (if not all) were hoping to help themselves by hopefully becoming rich off the sales as they helped themselves to the money in the pockets of those who bought their books.  That's some serious self-help right there

So here's my own version of the self-help manual for life:

Step 1: Write self-help book to make a living off of others who seek advice on how to help themselves
Step 2: Cash checks
Step 3: What, still here?  Didn't you get through step 2 yet?  Seriously, some people need you to hold their hand through every little step of the process, I've never in my life seen so many easily mislead morons good-natured conscientious folks in need of proper life guidance

Yep, that about does it  

[nukecad]

You have to laugh or cry.

Here in the UK the latest 'help' for disabled people who need support from the state (and other long term 'jobseekers') is the 'Work and Health Programme'.

It's directly based on a coffee table self-help book and is totally meaningless/useless.
The 'Professor' who wrote the book freely admits herself that the ideas in it are "off the wall" (her own words), so of course the UK government snapped them up and made them official policy.

Look it up, we could all do with a laugh now and again.

[Cleatus]

well nuke, at least they are "trying" to get people jobs.  here we just throw $$ at them for life. 

We have so many jobs open now, employers are BEGGING for help. 

[Cleatus]

annnnd beer. I likes it.

[Amaroq_Starwind]

Red Delicious apples are actually the Least Delicious.