How to Get Attention in an Elevator

[gonzo]

• Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut up!"

Whistle the first seven notes of "The Andy Griffith Show" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

One word: Flatulence!

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Give religious tracts to each passenger.

Meow occasionally.

Frown and mutter "Gotta go...Gotta go..." then sigh and say "Oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

Stare at a passenger and announce "You're one of them!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Bring a chair along.

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

[David H. Lipman]

Ohhhhhhhh

So that was you in the elevator the other day!    

[gonzo]

Only if I was acting like Curly from the Three Stooges.  I also impersonate the Roadrunner at times.

[David H. Lipman]

http://www.ridhughz.demon.co.uk/wav/meepmeep.wav

[Eagleeye]

Cute Michael!

 

     Here's a "sequel" to your, "One word: Flatulence!".

 

* After passing gas...quickly turn and stare, with a disdained look, at the person next to you, then move away from them while continuing to stare.

[mountaintree16]

I'm way too shy to do any of this stuff, but dang, this is funny stuff!

[jadinolf]

Ohhhhhhhh

So that was you in the elevator the other day!     wavey.gif

I thought so.