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More Words of ? Wisdom ? (a few more for David)


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You think English is easy ???
Read to the end for another group of new twists.

 

1) The bandage was "wound" around the wound.
2) The farm was used to "produce" produce
3) The dump was so full that it had to "refuse" more refuse
4) We must "polish" the Polish furniture.
5) He could "lead" if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to "desert" his "dessert" in the "desert" ??
7) Since there is no time like the "present", he thought it was time to "present" the "present".
8) A "bass" was painted on the head of the bass drum. 
9) When shot at, the "dove" dove into the bushes.
10) I did not "object" to the object.
11) The insurance was "invalid" for the invalid.
12) There was a "row" among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too "close" to the door to close it.
14) The buck "does" funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a "sewer" fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his "sow" to sow.
17) The "wind" was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the "tear" in the painting I shed a tear. 
19) I had to "subject" the subject to a series of tests. 
20) How can I "intimate" this to my most intimate friend ?

 

Can all of these be correct or have we created a monster

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

 

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

 

We take our English for granted all too often.

 

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 

So why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham ?

 

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth ?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices ?

 

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it ? 

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught ? If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat ?

 

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

 

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital ?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship ? Have noses that run and feet that smell ?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites ?

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. 

 

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

 

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

 

Thank You .............

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