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Blondes make life funny

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Disclaimer: not intended to insult anyone.....

Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide

to take them to a police station. One asked, "What

if one explodes before we get there?" The other says,

"We'll lie and say we only found two."


A blond is in the bathroom and her husband shouts,

"Did you find the shampoo?"

She says, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for

dry hair, and I've just wet mine."


A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. "I think

it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough

to me." The blonde says, "I haven't taken it out of the

bowl yet!"


A blonde spies a letter lying on her doormat. It

says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND".

She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out

how to pick it up.


A blonde's dog goes missing and she is frantic.

Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in

the paper?" She does, but two weeks later the

dog is still missing. "What did you put in the

paper?" her husband asks. "Here boy!" she replies.


A blond is in jail. A guard looks in her cell and

sees her hanging by her feet.

"What the heck you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"It should be around your neck!" says the Guard.

"I know," she replies, "but I couldn't breathe."


(Now this one actually makes sense...lol)

An Italian tourist asks a blonde, "Why do scuba

divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the blonde replies, "If they fell forward,

they'd still be in the boat."

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