Husbands and wives

[deathtospyware]

A new Husband Shopping Center opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rules were that, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.

So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find a man as a prospective husband:

First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say, "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up." So up they go.

Second floor-the sign says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow!" say the women. "Very tempting, BUT there's more further up!" And up they go.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me. But just think what must be awaiting us further on!" say the women. So up to the fifth floor they go.

The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please."

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:

First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth Guy: "That's easy! I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke. 'Golf Course or Intercourse?', I ask. She says, 'Wear your sweater.

[Jaxryley]

The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please."

Amen!

JACK AND JILL

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side 'When

I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was

take off my trousers,' he said. 'I gave them to your mother and told

her to put them on .

When she did, they were enormous on her and she

said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too

large. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in

this family and I always will. 'Ever since that day, we have never had

a single problem.'

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got

Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his

trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on.

Jill said that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them.

'Exactly,' replied Jack.'I wear the trousers in this relationship and

I always will. I don't want you to forget that.' Jill paused and

removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. 'Try these on,' she said,

so he tried them on but they were too small. 'I can't possibly get

into your knickers,' said Jack. 'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And if you

don't change your %*$!^% attitude, you never will.'