After nuking chrome again, it appears that Fastsearch is no more! I must've missed something the first time around. This time I also ended any and all Google processes running in the background.
1. Close chrome and force quit chromium and chrome/google processes in Activity Monitor. 2. Completely Erase all of these files and folders (thanks treed for this info):
3. Restart computer.
4. Download and reinstall fresh Chrome.
5. Profit. RIP Fastsearch.
Hope this helps, guys. I'm going to add this to my original post. Thanks for all your suggestions.